A Spark in the dark

In case the title didn't give it away I bought a Chevrolet Spark.

For the smallest car on the lot it was also the most comfortable. This is the part where I was going to badmouth the dealership and all the torment the put me through, like holding me hostage for a few hours, but I digress. If you know me I can fill you in on the details.


 Anyway in desperate need for a car I decided to purchase it and all the googling I did on it afterwards I figured out all the "features" I was lied to about but also how great of a car it potentially could be.



 It has most of the basic features I was looking for, good gas mileage, and its an obnoxious color.



FUCKING WIN.



Let project Spark begin.

what is that...

So he tried to sell me the vehicle they get the most insentives for hence get the most loan approvals for which I cant blame him he's got a job to do.

Ooh so shiny

So I reluctantly sit in the car, tell him that I'm not even going for a test drive if the payments aren't right.

The cars wicked uncomfortable.
I'm very picky about my leg room.

Like a glove

Its a definate no. Were back inside he's doing car dealer things I'm walking around the show room and I spot it. This lime green fucking clown car. I've seen them, never put much thought into them, but here it was, fuck it I jump in.....

Lets see what we can fit you into

So he comes back. "So your credits not that good" "Yeah no shit that's why I'm here for that you can drive a chevy thing"

 "Have you thought about pre owned?"

 "Dude I need a car so if it has to be pre owned so be it"

 "I got something in mind ill be back"

I sat there for 10 to 15 minutes before he came back.

"Check this out"

                                           "FULLY LOADED"






He shows me an Elanatra.
I laugh.
He tries to sell the leather interior.
I laugh harder.
This went on for a little while then he said those magic words that every car shopper loves to hear. "Lets see what we can fit you into"

                                 "So comfort, low kilometer, beige"


At this point no matter what the first car I was shown the answer was no just on principle. Even if they offered to pay me to drive it.
                                  
                                     "No thanks I'll pass.............shit"

Bunch of savages in this town

I've arrived I walked around the lot and checked out few of the cars, only got approached by one dude ans he backed off pretty easily. I made my way in the door and was immediately swarmed by "sales consultants" I tried to shurg them off and said "I'm looking for Sean?" So one dude went to get him. Seanshawnjohn quirk showed up shook my hand and passed me off onto said sales consultant that went to find him for me.

                                                       Not the actual guy

 "I see where this shits going" I think to myself but I go with it. We sit down and imedietly I'm asked to fill out a credit appplication. "Uh I was pre-approved online" "Oh yeah yeah we just need a physical copy on file" he told me. So I agree,remember I'm slightly desperateate here. He takes my paper work and heads to the Finace guy.

                                              Possibly the actual guy








Fingers crossed.

                            Actual  Surveillance footage from car lot

Episode 14: The Adventure Begins

So a little while ago I bought a new car. It was just the time if you know me you know the jeep I was driving it was past time. So I started looking at cars online I had a price range in mind but no specific car. I looked at everything from 2 seaters (which would be ridiculous with having 2 kids) to the 2014 Ram Bighorn edition, which I also found issues with but I digress. So after looking at cars and dealers and deals and a whole bunch of porn I decided to fill out the pre-approval forms at my local Chevorlet dealer. (Lets just call them oh I don't know.....Quirk to avoid any legal problems) Almost immediately after hitting enter my phone rings I'm talking 37(in a row) seconds.

I let it hit voicemail as I am known to do after a minute or so the contra intro blasts through my phone and I know I have a voicemail.

Now this is where I would have just copy and pasted the transcript from the first voicemail but the gist is "Hurray you're pre-approved" anyway I ignored it and continued on about my business over the next few days I received multiple phone calls from who we refer to now as seanshawnjohn quirk( for some reason the voicemail transcript couldn't figure out his name) and then finally a few emails. Once I has some time I replied to an email told him when I'd be in and a possible car I was interested in. I took a drive out later that day....